We've become masters at suppressing our negative emotions, donning a brave face, and soldiering on with our day. But in doing so, have we missed valuable lessons?

In today's fast-paced world, it's crucial to focus on our mental well-being just as we do with our physical health. One powerful tool for achieving this balance is mindfulness.

“Trust the process” is a phrase that you might hear therapists or other mental health professionals use a lot of the time. You might also see it on social media, from coaches, mindfulness instructors, or in guided meditations. But what does it really mean?

Usually, they work pretty well together - each responsible for their own tasks, but working together like a well-oiled team.

However, sometimes one part of the brain will take over, shutting out the other parts for the time being.

We all know that self-care in general is an important aspect of looking after our mental wellbeing. We also know that going to counselling can play a key role in self-care for many people. However, something that we often neglect to think about is that sometimes self-care isn’t pretty.

Parentification of a child happens when the child switches roles with their mum, dad, or both, to become the parent within the household at a young age.

In a time when everything is felt so intensely - the grief, the fear, the sadness, the connection - it can be easy to be led by our emotions and our inner monologues. However, being led by our thoughts and emotions can lead us to feel quite unstable - think about how often your emotions change throughout the day. We are trying to adapt to this new lifestyle, and wondering what is the best way of doing this.

You know that feeling when you are working on something important and trying to focus, but you find yourself picking up your phone and starting to scroll through social media. You then berate yourself; “For goodness sake, why am I so easily distracted. So stupid. I need to focus and get this done.” Well, this is the opposite of a gentle, nurturing lens.

If a therapist offers an initial phone call before you decide to book with them, this will be an opportunity for you to ask questions about how the therapy will be, about their qualifications and experience, or about whether they think they can work with what you’re bringing.

It is also a time when the therapist will want to learn more about what has brought you to seeking out therapy and what you are hoping to gain from the therapy sessions.

It used to be the case that breaks were a usual part of going to therapy. You would go on a holiday and there would be a natural break in therapy as you weren’t physically able to go to your therapist’s office.

Due to the Covid-19 pandemic, most therapists moved their sessions online using services such as Zoom or Skype, and now it is more than possible to “take your therapist with you” when you go on holiday or a staycation.

The question is: is this beneficial?

We are hardwired to seek out human connection throughout our lives. At all stages of life, we seek out connectivity with others, and sometimes these relationships are healthy, while other times they are not. As infants, we seek out the care of others in order to survive physically, and as we grow older, we seek out connection with others in order to survive and thrive mentally and emotionally.

According to the NHS, counselling is a talking therapy that involves a trained therapist listening to a client and helping the client find ways to deal with emotional issues. Counselling is most often focused on issues in the past or present such as depression, anxiety, trauma, bereavement, infertility, self-esteem, or sexual identity issues (among many others).

Going to therapy certainly doesn't mean you are crazy, and this is the most common reason that people use to not go to therapy. There is nothing wrong with going to therapy at all. Sometimes you just might have a big decision to make, other times you might want to explore different options, different ways of thinking, or have someone unbiased to discuss things with.

Many people come to therapy expecting their counsellor to tell them what to do, to tell them how to ‘get over’ something, or generally to give out life advice.

These same clients often leave their first session feeling slightly deflated and disappointed that their counsellor has not done that at all. What their counsellor will likely have done is to answer the client’s questions with another question.