What does it mean to “Trust the Process”?

“Trust the process” is a phrase that you might hear therapists or other mental health professionals use a lot of the time. You might also see it on social media, from coaches, mindfulness instructors, or in guided meditations. But what does it really mean?

Essentially, it means to trust in the process of therapy - to trust that, although you might not be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel yet, the light is there.

It gets worse before it gets better

Therapy can be a difficult process and one that more often than not makes you feel worse before you feel better. This is something that often leads to clients ending therapy before they are ready, because they either feel that it’s not working (because it is making them feel worse) or that they can’t manage feeling worse at that moment.

The reason that therapy often makes you feel worse before you feel better is that it is bringing difficult thoughts, memories, and emotions to the forefront of your mind. Thoughts, memories, and emotions that we automatically push to the back of our minds, bury in mental boxes, and avoid at all costs - because they make us feel worse.

The problem with burying these feelings and thoughts is that our mental boxes can only hold so much. In order to process what has happened or how we are feeling, we need to bring these thoughts to the forefront of our minds and talk about them. This often leads to feeling worse before we feel better because we are focusing on the “negative” rather than ignoring it.

Trusting the process, in this instance, means trusting that once we’ve processed these difficult feelings and thoughts, they will no longer haunt us. They will no longer feel so difficult, and we will then start to feel better.

Therapy has many levels

Another aspect of trusting the process in therapy is to trust that the therapy is working on multiple levels.

While you might be talking about your mother during the session, for example, your therapist is quietly making connections between what your mother has said or done (or not said or done) in the past and how your partner is making you feel in the present. They are also making connections between what your mother has said or done (or not) in the past and how you are interacting with them in the room.

Your therapist will bring these possible connections and insights to your attention to discuss how they might be relevant (or not) and how what your mother did or didn’t do “back then” is impacting you in the here-and-now both in your relationships “out there” and your relationship with the therapist.

This will lead not only to resolutions or insights into your relationship with your mother but also to deeper healing and understanding of the self in all relationships, including your relationship with yourself.

In this instance, trusting the process means understanding that what you are talking about in the therapy room isn’t the only thing that is being processed in the therapy room.

Sometimes it is even simpler than I have described above. Sometimes trusting the process, in these instances, means that although you are telling your therapist day-to-day annoyances or frustrations, the simple fact that your therapist is hearing you, seeing you, and understanding what you’re saying, is healing in itself.

If you’re interested in starting counselling, please see our Therapist Profile page to learn more about our therapists.